The name Linsey Stonchus does not seem that out-there, but you’d be surprised. I am constantly reminded that I am missing the d in my first name and that they’ve never heard of the last name Stonchus. With a name that no one’s ever heard of, misspellings and mispronunciations are simply part of your everyday.
1. You Never Get Cool Little Gifts with Your Name on It
Those cute little tourist gifts with the name on it? Good luck ever finding one that has your name.
2. You’ll Hear Your Name Pronounced a Lot of Weird Ways
Particularly my last name. I am constantly asked how it’s pronounced. It’s super understandable and the proper way to approach the situation. But, yeah. Prepare yourself for a life of explaining and clarifying the pronunciation. Even after you explain it, it still may be pronounced incorrectly. Pronunciations can get super weird; you may not even recognize when your own name is called.
3. People Will Always Misspell Your Name
This includes bosses, co-workers, teachers. My biggest pet peeve is when someone should be spelling my name right, either because they’ve known me for so long or I’m in a professional setting. You have my application, resume, and records all available to you; make the effort to spell it right.
And when people do spell your name right, you feel an intense amount of gratitude for this person. These are the best kind of people..(or close friends).
4. You Can’t Just Give a Name, You Need to Spell It
Making a reservation or contacting customer service? Get ready for the question you will hear every time for the rest of your life: “How do you spell that?” You can’t just drop a Barb Smith and let them type it in neatly. Beware if they don’t ask you for the spelling, because it will, without a doubt, be misspelled.
5. Mysterious Letters Will Appear in Your Name
Speaking of customer service, it never fails that when I do spell my name out-loud without the d, the d will always magically appear in my later emails and mailings. Anyone with a name with multiple variations will always find the random letters scattered throughout their name. Sometimes my e is replaced with an a or my i with a y. I honestly think some people just remember my name is spelled weird so they insert that little y after the L, but keep the d.
6. Some People Won’t Say Your Name, Period.
Ms., Mr., You. Some people will do whatever they can to avoid saying your name out of fear of mispronunciation.
7. Awards and Media Mentions May Be Misspelled
In high school, I was once interviewed for a piece in a local newspaper, but it’s near impossible to find when searching my name because the reporter wrote my last name as Stoachus.
8. Your SEO Sucks
I am a digital marketer, so I have to bring up SEO, or search engine optimization. Basically, SEO represents where you’re listed on a search engine result page. On the bright side, if someone does know the proper spelling of your name, it will be easier than anyone else to find you. On the negative, misspelling your name may mean they never find you. Good if you’re trying to hide your social media accounts, bad if you own a business.
9. Emails May Never Be Sent
Well, they’ve been sent, but not to you, because they misspelled your name in the email address.
10. Everyone Uses the Same Jokes
On multiple occasions, people have jokingly pronounced my name differently because the lack of the d. You are not the first to make this joke, nor the last.
11. You Dread Correcting Someone
Whether it be a good friend, boss, or someone you respect, it’s always awkward to point out that they’ve been spelling or pronouncing your name wrong, but enough’s enough.
12. Microsoft Will Tell You You’re Spelling Your Name Wrong…Forever
No, Microsoft; that is how you spell my name. I have been adding my name to the dictionary since I was 6 years old.
13. ..While We’re At It, So Will Apple
Thanks autocorrect for changing my name to a really weird word.
14. Third Times a Charm: People Will Also Tell You You’re Spelling Your Name Wrong
This is mainly in elementary school, where there’s plenty of weird rules on right or wrong. Someone spells their name right, or better. But it will follow you into adulthood. Please refer back to the bad, frequent jokes.
15. Sometimes You’ll Get a New Name Entirely
My last name Stonchus is sometimes mistaken for Sanchez. I mean, they sound alike, but it’s a completely different name. And ethnic background.
16. If You’re in a Foreign Country, It’s Even Worse
Anyone who travels to another country will face all of these issues, but about 1,000 times worse.
Positive: Your Name is Unique to You
At least I can say no one else has my name.
By Linsey Stonchus
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